When I got my rooming assignment for freshman year, I was so excited to live in a triple and have friends right off the bat. What I didn’t expect was that I would hate living with other people, and it would lead me to move completely off campus for the rest of my college experience.
In March of 2022, I left Northeastern’s campus a month early due to the triple living situation being harmful to my mental health. I came back sophomore year living 15 minutes away from campus in a studio apartment. The excitement I felt due to having my own space was the only emotion I had. That was, until the year started to progress.
Although it can be daunting to live alone on or off campus, I’m here to tell you that ultimately it is an extremely smart decision. But before we delve into why it’s smart, it’s important to know what you are getting into when living alone.
The first unexpected quality is the loneliness. Having your own space can sound exciting, but the reality is, living alone allots a lot of time to being alone with your thoughts. I come from a family of six, so the thought of living alone was exciting because I had never had my own space. It quickly became apparent that thoughts of anxiety and FOMO were much harder to ignore since there was no roommate to distract or comfort me. Know that the loneliness and feeling of restlessness is completely normal.
In the college environment, we’re meant to think that every moment should be spent making a memory, doing something extremely fun or being productive. We’re made to feel that each moment not spent making memories are moments wasted. That could not be further from the truth. Living alone allows you to break outside the mold and have more time dedicated to yourself. Not only do you get to form a strong sense of independence, but the moments not spent making memories are times when you can get to know yourself more.
That being said, too much time alone can cause loneliness. Seeing friends is vital if you’re living alone, and if you’re not someone with a lot of social connections, like I was, join clubs that seem interesting. It won’t always be a perfect fit, but while searching you’ll find ones that stick.
Last year I went to clubs every day for months, and in doing so, I found communities I liked that afforded more social connections. FaceTime family members or friends from back home to evoke feelings of comfort as well. But most of all acknowledge that you always have someone present with you: yourself.
Another unexpected quality, as mentioned, is the feeling of being uncomfortable. It’s common to want that feeling to go away as quickly as possible, but that is the exact opposite of what you should want. When you are comfortable and stagnant, there will be no growth or change in your life. Whether the discomfort you feel is intense or mild, it is healthy for your body to learn how to deal with those feelings.
There were times when I didn’t even want to set foot into my apartment because of how uncomfortable living alone was. Instead of running from the discomfort, I embraced it wholeheartedly and found ways to be calm in my apartment. I achieved this through simple things like listening to a podcast in times of silence, watching old cartoons or sitcoms that felt nostalgic and comforting, reading with nice jazz music playing and meditating.
Another unexpected quality was how hard having a routine was. When you live on campus with others, it is much easier to feel connected to the Northeastern community and feel drawn to have structure in your life. When living off campus alone, you may find yourself feeling far away and isolated from this community. Having a routine will ensure that you feel structure in your life, which in turn will allow for an easier time adjusting to living alone.
There were days when I woke up at 8 a.m. and stayed in bed until 11:30 a.m., merely because I had no idea what to do for the day. Instead of wasting time, it’s healthy to get up early, cook breakfast and have a nice, chill morning. For me this looked like meditating, reading a book for half an hour and then going to the gym. After the gym I would usually be in class, seeing a friend, or at a club, which are activities already built into your potential schedule.
Getting home in the afternoon can feel daunting, because for the rest of the day you’re at home alone left with your thoughts. Instead of spiraling, the number one thing that helped me was learning how to cook. Cooking would become a daily thing since there are so many easy recipes out there. Not only will cooking keep you in the present moment, but it will develop cooking skills for after college, and provide for an inexpensive, healthy meal. Your greatest adversity in all of this is your mind. Construct a routine that gets you out of the house, keeps you productive and allows for spending time alone to enjoy.
Earlier, I said living alone was a smart decision, and I’d like to finally explain why. Many college graduates often face a hard time after college, because they are thrust into the real world after four years of living in a bubble in college. This is likely due to the excessive drinking, partying and all around non-stop task of living the “best four years of your life.” Many live with roommates through graduation, and many students never learn what living alone entails until it is too late.
After college, it is likely you will live alone. Your college friends will not be easily accessible, and you will probably not have plans every single weekend. Living alone in college affords you the gift of acclimating to post-grad life. It also allows you to see through the farce that is the typical college experience. When you get to know yourself, become content with silence and alone time, and adjust to depending on only yourself in your home, you do the one thing most college students fail to do: grow up. The nice thing about growing up is that you’re able to have fun and make memories in meaningful ways, but you’re also able to relax and not have your life revolve around living up to the expectations college students feel the need to meet. In the long run, you’ll look back and be thankful you made these changes sooner rather than later.