See how we’re making a how-to guide? Very demure, very mindful.
Every couple of weeks, there seems to be a new lifestyle being promoted across TikTok. From the clean girl aesthetic to brat summer, it can be difficult to keep up with. TikTok often pushes lifestyle trends of boldness and spectacle, which is perhaps why one of the newest trends, the “demure” lifestyle, has had such a striking resurgence even over a month after it first went viral.
The demure lifestyle initially gained popularity through an Aug. 5 TikTok video posted by creator Jools Lebron about being “demure and modest and respectful” at work. In this video, Lebron describes her makeup saying “I don’t do too much, I’m very mindful while I’m at work.” Since this video, Lebron has spread the phrase across the internet, gaining a large following in the process.
To achieve a demure lifestyle, it is first important to understand the meaning of the word. Demure, as defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary, means to be “reserved, modest.” Traditionally, demure is used to describe a woman who is quiet and shy. The recent resurgence, however, does not directly align with this definition. Being demure does not mean you have to be timid, but respectful and mindful. Lebron’s definition clarifies you don’t do “too much.” Finding ways to adopt aspects of this lifestyle can promote healthy communication, respect, inclusivity and mitigate conflict.
Here’s how to incorporate this timeless, elegant lifestyle into your daily life:
- Crafting a demure aesthetic
The new TikTok trend puts a focal point on understated elegance. Choosing minimalistic colors and styles can be your first step at achieving this look. Makeup should be subtle and classy. You don’t need “a green cut-crease,” Lebron says. Having said that, this does not mean your makeup needs to be boring. Lebron still models a winged liner, false lashes and strong pink blush. The importance lies in finding balance: not doing too much, but also not too little.
The demure fashion style follows the same principles. You can be modest but still very “cutesy.” Opt for clothing with soft and subtle colors and cuts that are relatively modest. The key to not doing too much here is keeping it coordinated. You can wear a patterned and fun shirt and still be demure. Incorporating some minimalistic jewelry can enhance your look even further.
- Adopting a demure mindset
Being demure goes further than just the way you present yourself through makeup and clothes. On the Jimmy Kimmel Show Lebron told guest host RuPaul that being demure is a “mindset.” She shared that she used to be “crazy and out of control” until she found demurity, which led to her success.
The key to this is finding balance in yourself. Be able to express yourself while still being a good listener for others and knowing when it is not your time to shine. Be a calming presence for others by being positive and practicing gentle empathy. An essential proponent of this is being self-aware and knowing how your actions impact others. This means also being respectful and mindful of others and the space around you. This trend offers a romanticized version of modesty and grace.
- Putting it all together
To achieve a demure lifestyle, all it takes is maintaining an aesthetic of timeless elegance and mindful behavior. Incorporating mindful and modest makeup and clothing can help you obtain a polished, demure look; being respectful and calming for others can help you obtain a genuine, demure presence.
It’s important to balance demureness with authenticity and assertiveness. Being demure does not mean you have to inhibit genuine self-expression; it is crucial to remain confident and true to yourself. While being demure is oftentimes viewed as your presence to others, it most importantly is your respect and mindfulness towards yourself. As trends come and go, you may move on to forget about being demure, but we certainly can not forget about the lesson it teaches: to be elegant inside and out.