Over the past decade, the dating landscape has shifted dramatically. Meeting someone organically, like in a coffee shop or bar, is still possible, but these spontaneous connections are becoming increasingly rare. These days, young daters are turning to dating apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, seeking the elusive, although often fleeting connection these apps swear by. Today, over a fifth of young adults report using dating apps.
For many, downloading apps may start “as a joke.” After all, crafting a perfectly curated profile, a mix of attractive yet funny glimmers of your personality with the help of friends you met less than a month ago is a college rite of passage. However, as the novelty wears off and friends begin to seriously pursue their matches, the humor begins to fade. What once felt like a fun, new experiment gradually transforms into an integral factor of the college dating experience.
The high volume of users can make dating apps appear intimidating, but in reality, they can be extremely confusing. This is exacerbated for college students, who are exploring a whole new pool of potential relationships of all varieties, while simultaneously experiencing the excitement and independence of dating for the first time.
Take a look at some of the firsthand pieces of advice from college students who have had both failures and successes on the apps.
“Dating apps work if both parties want them to work”
Hannah, age 21, met her boyfriend Lucas on Hinge in September 2023. They bonded over their shared love of rock climbing, and had their first date at Central Rock Gym in Fenway.
After their date, Hannah felt hopeful, but Lucas was less positive. Nevertheless, he asked her on a second date, and they hit it off, talking for eight hours.
Before her first date with Lucas, Hannah made a promise to herself: this would be her last Hinge date before she deleted the app. Today, Hannah and Lucas have been together for over a year, and recently signed a lease on an apartment in Mission Hill starting in September 2025.
Hannah always felt indifferent towards dating apps, but her experiences tended to lean negatively. However, both were open to being in a long-term relationship, even if that wasn’t their sole intention.
“Dating apps work if both parties want them to work,” Lucas said, a sentiment both shared.
“I was never looking for anything serious”
Orla, age 21, met her current boyfriend in fall 2021, during the first semester of her sophomore year of college. At the time, Orla was using Hinge in a noncommittal and casual manner, often sifting through people’s profiles with her friends.
One day, she opened the app to a cheesy knock-knock joke and began chatting with the guy for fun.
“The message was so random and so not related to my profile. I had to respond,” Orla said.
Although she enjoyed their banter, their conversation never left Hinge, and she proceeded to abandon the conversation. At the time, she didn’t see herself committing to someone, much less a long-term relationship.
Two months later, Orla re-messaged the same guy, resparking their conversation. They made plans to grab coffee, where they proceeded to talk for four hours. Now, they’ve been together for nearly two years.
“I wasn’t someone who went into it looking for a relationship or a certain kind of person,” Orla said. “I think if you’re going to download the apps, don’t go into it thinking there will be a certain outcome — everyone goes into it wanting something different.”
“Everything about dating is supposed to be about self-discovery”
Rebecca, age 21, has both Tinder and Hinge downloaded on her phone. She primarily gravitates towards Hinge, which she checks most days, even if she isn’t planning on responding to her messages.
To her, each app has a distinct personality: Tinder is objectively less serious, its swipe feature feeling more like a game than a way to meet your life partner. On the other hand, Hinge’s prompts and mutual like feature feels like a commitment.
“I expect different things if I’m talking to someone on a different app. If I’m talking to someone on Tinder, I’m expecting it to be a little less serious,” Rebecca said.
While dating apps can be a successful platform to develop romantic relationships, as they were for both Orla and Hannah, they are inherently social tools that can be repurposed to help you understand your likes and dislikes, your type (both physically and personality wise) and the way you like to flirt.
“Everything about dating is supposed to be about self-discovery,” Rebecca said.
Despite their many cons, the design of dating apps allows for more intentional, upfront connections for some.
“As someone who does know people who met their long term partners, it’s nice to see examples of strong relationships — dating apps do work!” she said. “But in a world that is built on comparison, if dating apps don’t work for you, that’s okay. Don’t use them as a model of comparison.”
These days, Rebecca finds herself gravitating toward making more of an effort to meet people organically. She acknowledges that dating apps work for some, but for now, she’s taking a step back.
She believes that ultimately, if you do find yourself looking for a more serious commitment, dating apps can work, but at the same time be open to meeting people in the real world.
“I think meeting people organically can be done alone, without dating apps,” Rebecca said. “But I don’t think that dating apps can be done [without also] meeting people organically.”
If you’re feeling frustrated with dating apps, know that you’re not alone. Although online dating is quite popular, and works for many, more people are making efforts to meet organically. Afterall, there’s no “one-size-fits-all” approach to dating, especially when navigating the often fast-paced and unforgiving nature of college life.
Sometimes, taking a break from online dating may lead to more meaningful, authentic connections. And if you find dating apps are working for you, lean into it! You never know what may be in store.