I was an awkward 15-year-old girl who had recently fallen in love with concerts when Snail Mail announced that her band was going on tour. I bought two tickets — one for me and one for my mom, who was graciously my concert buddy during those terrible teenage years (even though she despised my music taste and dragged her feet each time she had to drive us downtown for a long general admission show). This concert was different, though; she suggested I go into the venue on my own while she waited in the car. This independence was revolutionary for me as I realized I had no one to dance with, walk to the restrooms with or even chat with.
So, how did I end up falling in love with this often nerve-wracking solo activity?
As somebody who dedicated one year of their life to attending local concerts from musicians with less than 500 monthly listeners, and got way too excited over a Weezer and The Living Tombstone concert, I know a thing or two about this topic. Sometimes, going to a concert alone is the only option for fulfilling the lifelong need to scream the lyrics to Buddy Holly. Here are some of my top tips and realizations I have developed throughout the years of going to concerts solo.
The main fear that still lingers in my head when I’m on my way to a concert venue on my own is the innate worry of being judged by strangers for being alone. Though this is something that still crosses my mind, I have been reminded time after time that nobody is staring at me — everyone is busy enjoying their own concert experience. As an outgoing girl, there is something so freeing about finding other girls at venues and asking to hang out with them. I have met a handful of incredible people at concerts that I still stay in touch with, all because I complimented their outfit and talked about an artist we both love.
At these venues, everybody has one thing in common: they are all fans of the performer. Keeping this in mind helps me appreciate that everyone in a shared space forms a community, and there’s something genuinely exciting about discussing the fandom with others who are a part of it.
Safety is another worry when attending concerts alone, so maintaining a precautionary routine ultimately helps me ease up and live in the moment. Before going out, concert or not, I always let somebody know where I am headed, when the event starts and when I’m expecting to be back home. Whether this be my boyfriend, my best friend, a sorority sister or even my mom who lives over two thousand miles away, it is crucial for someone trusted to know my whereabouts. Keeping my fully charged phone on is also non-negotiable. Many venues do not allow pepper spray, so I keep an emergency alarm keychain on my bag wherever I go. If the concert is general admission, I always stay on the outskirts of the pit, with a general idea of where the exits and security are located. I also limit myself to just consuming water inside the venue since reducing impairment is critical for me to be able to relax and stay present. Some of these rituals may seem over the top, but being alone in an overwhelming environment calls for these procedures, especially since the goal is to have fun!
For me, going to concerts alone is a choice I enjoy making. Friends can be busy and music tastes don’t always align, but fulfilling the years-old dream of dancing to your favorite artists’ songs is a beautiful and rare occurrence that cannot be passed up just because others cannot accompany me. Besides, this is a choice I love because I enjoy spending time by myself and meeting new people. Going to the beat of my own drum is something I value heavily, and sometimes taking myself out to an event is just how I refresh and rediscover the beauty of being alone.