America’s sweetheart, a blue-eyed and red-lipped popstar, starts dating the country’s star football player — sounds like something ripped from the movie screens, right?
Global pop sensation Taylor Swift and Kansas City Chiefs player Travis Kelce have been the prime subject of media frenzy over the past several weeks as a romance has begun to bud between the two. From Kelce being spotted trading friendship bracelets at an Eras show to Swift attending several Chiefs games, it seems like every day our X, formerly known as Twitter, feeds have the latest update on their relationship.
The question is: Why do we care so much?
A parasocial relationship is defined as non-reciprocal connections to famous figures — oftentimes actors or musicians — where the fan invests a significant amount of emotional energy, money and time whilst the recipient is unaware of the fan’s existence. This relationship is further fueled by social media, which gives fans intimate glimpses into their favorite celebrities’ daily lives. The unfortunate result of this is that fans then believe they are entitled to personal details, particularly where celebrities’ love lives are concerned.
Swift and her military-grade army of Swifties are an especially strong example of this phenomenon. Her diary-esque lyricism centered around her relationships and her sweet-girl-next-door public persona make fans feel like she’s just another one of their friends. And what’s one of the most fun things to do with your friends? Talk smack about their unfortunate ex-relationships, of course! Swift’s exes are painted as villains in fans’ eyes, and Swifties love to compare how these mento Kelce, and his perceived chivalry and confidence. Although it’s possible that the majority of these posts are made purely in jest, there exists an eerie undertone of personal offense, as if the fan themself was broken up with over the phone in a matter of 25 seconds by Joe Jonas.
The harsh truth is that, although she may feel like it, Taylor Swift is a celebrity — not a friend. We may think we know the intimate innergoings of her life — from her cats to her goofy yet witty sense of humor — but this is simply the brand she has constructed for public consumption. Fans don’t, and never will, have the ability to know her daily thoughts, emotions and beliefs if Swift doesn’t wish to share them in her usual musical form.
In general, interest in celebrity relationships is not a novel concept. From the ‘90s Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie love triangle to current-day Deuxmoi and X updates, people have always found joy in discussing and dissecting whenever two famous people are rumored to be together. But to be so emotionally invested in whoever your favorite celeb is dating that you heavily scrutinize their partner and information from so-called “close sources” is a step too far. As people who are not in the fortunate position of knowing Swift personally, it isn’t our right to judge who is or isn’t an acceptable boyfriend for her.
Caring about your favorite celebrity’s life, to an extent, is a normal aspect of being a fan and can further add to the enjoyment of media. However, it’s crucial to remember that these celebrities are merely distant figures — not someone you know personally. To reach the point of parasociality is when it reaches the dangerous point.
So, your opinion of Taylor Swift’s dating life? She doesn’t know or care.