Note: Both stories included in this article were anonymously submitted. The first story is from a close friend of mine, and the second was received through a friend of a friend. These stories have been written up based on how they were recounted to me, with no added exaggeration.
We all have, or have had, that roommate. The one that leaves their clothes in the dryer and their dishes in the sink. The one that turns the thermostat to 80 degrees and the one that shuts it off entirely. Having a roommate with those tendencies can really bring out the anger and pettiness in all of us. However, it is not until stories are swapped that you realize how lucky you are to have the roommates you do. Here are two anonymous stories to emphasize just how lucky we are.
Story 1
I moved into my new apartment in September 2022, excited to start my new life and take on the city of New York. Being from a small town in the middle of the country, both the city and the people that reside there were a huge adjustment for me. I knew people were different, but I did not know the extremities. I moved into my apartment with expectations of a possible new life-long friend, but rather found my reason to return home. My roommate did not disclose prior to my arrival that she engaged in “witchcraft,” so the brick dust at the door and jars full of floating mysterious objects were a major shock.
I spent most of my time in my room, or exploring the city, so the interior design was not much of a bother to me. It wasn’t until I left the house for a few days on business that it began to pose a problem. About five hours into my absence, I received a text from my roommate. A picture of my pet bunny sitting on the couch appeared on my screen to which I replied, “Sorry, could’ve sworn I locked the cage. Would you mind putting him back in my room?” Less than a minute later I received a one-word answer: “No.”
I thought she was just mad that my bunny was loose around the house and being petty, but I was sadly mistaken. I returned home early the following day to find an active cult in my common area. I mind my business when it comes to these things, so I stepped around as they all glared at me, making my way to my bedroom. I couldn’t help but notice the furry animal in the center of their circle: my bunny. I screamed, I yelled, I moved out, but nothing was enough to erase the image of my bunny, stiff as a board, in the middle of their chant.
Story 2
My roommate and I have been living together for two years now: straight out of a dorm and into our shared two-bed, one-bath apartment. We have been friends since we met at university, so I knew that living with him would be manageable and much better than living with someone I barely knew.
A month into us living together, my roommate, who we will call Mark, broke up with his girlfriend of over a year, and did not take the transition well. He began to bring girls home almost every night. He would go out, get wasted and stumble in with a different girl multiple times a week. Now, not to bash on Mark, because he really is a great guy, he was just going through a tough time but was a clean and tidy roommate otherwise.
It got to the point where the consistent noise was so loud and infiltrating my room down the hall that I decided I needed to take action. So, like any petty roommate, I decided to put up flyers all around the house entitled “Mark’s Post-Coital Survey.” Underneath my witty headline, I put a survey asking how satisfied the women were with Mark’s performance on a scale from 1-10, 10 being the highest, and capped the answerable numbers at six. Along with some additional witty commentary, I posted self-answered surveys around the house to be seen by any guests that should walk through. I personally found myself to be hilarious and creative, while Mark had a few other choice of words in mind. Needless to say, Mark and I had a feud, and came to an agreement over our ailments. Mark and his girlfriend then reunited a week later, and she also found my little practical joke hilarious, but it ended in their relationship, causing it to come to a solid close. Sorry Mark.
These stories are just a snippet of the horror-filled and jaw dropping experiences that many have encountered. These experiences have made me never want to complain about my roommates again.